The demands of raising a child with autism are great, and families frequently experience high levels of stress. Recognizing and preparing yourself for the challenges that are in store will make a tremendous difference to all involved, including parents, siblings, grandparents, extended family, and friends.

The uniqueness of each individual with autism makes the experience of raising a child with autism different for each family. But there are some consistent themes or issues that most families will want to provide the best support to the individual and to family members. This blog is the third one in the series “Towards solving the puzzle” and I feel this will be helpful for the affected parents. 

OUTINGS.

• Buying tickets in advance will cut down on wait time at movie theaters, puppet shows, and amusement parks.
• Avoid merry-go-rounds for low-functioning children as there may be too much sensory input.
• Try a stationary seat on an amusement ride and sit hugging your child.
• Wearing a fanny pack instead of a purse leaves both hands free for your child.
• When out for the day, bring a spare set of clothes for accidents or if your child’s clothes get wet.
• To help day trips run more smoothly, travel in two cars so that one parent can return home with your child if he gets distressed.
• Feed your child before leaving home or bring food with you.
• Have your child play with a quiet toy like a calculator in a restaurant, during religious services, or other social activity.

MOVIES.

• Take your child to a movie that is not likely to have many loud noises.
• Arrive at the movie a few minutes late to avoid previews, which tend to show the most stimulating scenes. 
• Take her to a matinee of a movie that is on its way out as the theater will be practically empty.

SOCIAL EVENTS.

• When going to large social gatherings, arrive early to let your child get accustomed to the growing number of people.
• If your child becomes distressed during a social gathering, pick a quiet place to go or take him out for a walk.
• When visiting someone’s home, ask to remove breakables from your child’s reach; avoid homes where people refuse to accommodate your request.
• Bring your child’s favorite toys or stuffed animals to a family gathering or other social event.
• Before going to a family event, show your child individual pictures of family members and teach him their names.
• Before going to a social event, write out and have your child practice simple courtesy phrases and responses to questions.
• Let trusted others watch your child if they volunteer; ask for help if you need it.
• Treasure any positive comments made about your child.
• Accept unwanted advice with the phrase, “I’ll have to think about that,” and smile

A meeting of many took place in my world of Autism this morning . This is how it all began as told in this meeting i had this morning .

Karen do you mind if we tape this meeting ?

No i dont mind .

How old was Matt ; when you realized something was wrong ? 

Six months

Can you tell us about that ?

Uhmm yeah . He was fine . He would look at me and ; smile at me . He made those cooing sounds . The kind babies make when they are trying to talk back . He laughed when i made funny faces . He was so perfect . He was so healthy and ; perfect . '' sniffle sounds ''

Karen we can stop at any time . If you need a minute

No no i'm fine .

I took him for his shots . They were due . He had a little runny nose . I was concerned but ; the doctor assured me it was fine . They gave my son Nine shots that day . NINE ! Isnt that a lot ?

I brought him home and ; he became sick. High fever ; crying non stop . I always say that day he started crying and ; never stopped . He was different after that . No longer did he look at me or ; make those baby cooing noises . he never smiled anymore . No more laughter  ; it went away . He went away . My son died .

At  eight months he started  flapping his hands . He never slept much . And  it became difficult to take him out  on my errands .He would cry as in pain constantly .  The doctors would just say '' It's colic or ' some babies cry a lot . Everything is ok .

Everything wasnt ok because ; it got worse .

You say it got worse ?

Yes worse ya know his symtoms .Lack of sleep ; Crying and ; screaming when he was awake . I had a three year old too . I was so tired . So very tired all the time .

Was he  delayed in rolling over or ; sitting up ?

No no all his mile stones were normal . Just he wasnt .

What do you mean ?

Well for example when he turned 13 months he started to walk . Which was normal . Only he walked in circles ; which wasnt normal .

Oh i see .

He  would babble in language . Which is also normal . Just no words . Which isnt normal . So it was hard for me to determine what was right or ; wrong . Do you understand ?

Yes please continue .

Seemed like everything was very painful for him . Touch ; sight and ; sound hurt him . Doctors said '' oh he is just a normal one year old . Starting to push his limits and ; test me . Things were getting worse .

What things ?

well ya know his sleep . He just didnt sleep . The screaming increased . I was delirious most of the time from lack of sleep . He had no intrest in any of his toys . If i let him he would sit for hours and ; hours playing with a two liter coke bottle . He liked the way the liquid moved inside the bottle .

Lets jump ahead a little Karen ; shall we ?

ok

At some point you had to finally say ; enough is enough ; something is terribly wrong ; right ?

 yes  ; yes ; at two years of age . I had never heard of Autism before . I didnt know what it was . I was about to get that kick in my gut  every parent dreads . I was beginning to think he was deaf . He just wasnt hearing anyone or anything . I thought '' omg my baby  is deaf !! Thats the problem . So i took him to a specialist . Thats when i first heard the words Autism and ; no cure . He was put in the hospital and ; put to sleep . He had tubes running down his throat . I was so scared . They were doing testing on his ears .

They were testing him to see if he was deaf ?

yes . The  doctor called me the next day . He wanted me to fill out a form of questions . I remember seeing the questionair and ; at the top was the word

AUTISM .

The next day i was called back . He needed to talk to me . Thats when i was told   your son is not deaf . Your son has Autism  ; there is no cure '' . .......

Karen ?  Karen ?

I'm sorry . This is just so hard ok ?

Its ok take your time . Its fine . Take your time .

I wish my son was just deaf . Is that a bad thing to say ? Guess it is Huh ?

How did you feel after hearing that your son was Autistic ?

How did i feel ?

Yes Karen how did you feel ?

I didnt feel ; i died .  Can we turn off the tape now ?

Sure ; Sure . '' Shut the tape off '' .